OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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