Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
