so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
why do cheetos always look like penises
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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