If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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