Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
