C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Randomize
