Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
