hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
sex in a hospital.. check
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
