Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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