Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
