Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i just had sex bonerless
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
