That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
