4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
