shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
