Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
