nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize