just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
two words: eviction party
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I have fence marks all over my body
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
