Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
