ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Dignity is for republicans.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
