look no pants
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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