I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize