i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
