i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
