Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Drunk is a universal language darling
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize