Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
