I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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