So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
