Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize