Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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