Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm getting married
To pizza
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
