Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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