drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
