he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
