U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
