The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
everyone is single if you try hard enough
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
