for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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