Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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