I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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