Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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