I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
