Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
