I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize