I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
