Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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