may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
