i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize