everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
