Nicole vs. Life
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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