im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
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