between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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