I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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