Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
