I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
