so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
