physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
