i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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