can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My dad is sitting where you rode me
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
