is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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